A few weeks ago, I came across the phrase “nethi nethi” and was amazed by how succinctly it captured what I was planning to say about the year 2025. Nethi is a Sanskrit word for “not this,” (coming from the words na meaning “not” and ithi meaning “this”). Nethi nethi is a simple phrase, but it has been used in Vedic philosophy to denote the process of uncovering the meaning of a concept, like self or existence, by understanding what it is not. But what has this got to do with this blog post?
When I was in 10th grade, I thought that happiness was clearing board exams with good scores. In 11th and 12th grades, I thought that happiness was getting into a good college. In college, I often thought that happiness was getting a good grade or landing a good internship. And in finding happiness from the future, I frequently forgot about the happiness I could find in the present—spending time with friends and family, pursuing creative hobbies, traveling and exploring new places, or taking care of my body through exercise and sports.
2025 was a year of reflection, as I began asking myself what happiness means to me. My observation is that the pursuit of happiness has so far been an endless tunnel. Not only does it inspire me to sacrifice the joy of the present, it also slowly drains out all the fun from my work. Moreover, I realized that this pursuit will possibly never end. Today I think that happiness is getting admitted to a good doctoral program. Tomorrow, it will be publishing some number of papers in top conferences. The day after, it will be landing a faculty position at a reputed university. Interestingly, it does not stop there either. Then I might think that happiness is getting tenure, or winning a prestigious award, or receiving a lot of citations on my work. Who knows? I attended a talk in a New Faculty Symposium1 and was almost shocked to learn that even professors2 face stress, insecurity, and anxiety in their careers.
And this is what nethi nethi beautifully captures. Not this, not that. I don’t know what happiness is. But it seems that happiness is not in its pursuit, it is not in punishing myself, and it is not in the future. It is somewhere in the present, around me—maybe in my work, or in my relationships, or in my hobbies. In 2025, I redefined my understanding of happiness. My new manifesto is simple. I will enjoy my work and will not work if I am not enjoying it. I will read and learn different topics as I did when I was a kid. I will work toward some regular physical activity. I will not feel guilty about spending time with friends and family. I will explore new places. And I will learn new hobbies, like playing a musical instrument. I am not quite there yet, but I am on my way. I have started running whenever I can3 and have been learning to play the ukulele4.
There is another specific thing that I felt is definitely not happiness—hyperconnectivity through social media. While I had already stopped using WhatsApp towards the end of 2024, it was over several months in 2025 that I started to feel the benefits of disconnecting. Just like WhatsApp, I began evaluating the role of each social media platform that I used—Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook. I realized that the noise-to-signal ratio on these platforms was extremely high, most of the content was rage-bait or slop served to me just to fry my brain, there was unnecessary pressure to brag about accomplishments, and the fear of falling out of touch was overblown. Consequently, I deleted these accounts one by one over the year, and I really enjoy the peace of mind that comes with it. It will be a while before I can completely understand the pros and cons of leaving social media, but I am optimistic that I will look back at 2025 and be glad to have made this decision.
I still do not know what happiness is. Maybe I will never know! But perhaps that is the point. Not this, not that. Nethi nethi. I will not mistake happiness for something it is not.
Of course, all the ideas I am throwing around in this post would have been impossible without the great people around me. Like in all the years before, I have been lucky to find mentors and collaborators who supported me in my career goals and pushed me to think more clearly and honestly. I have also been fortunate to have friends and family who are always ready to deal with my quirks and eccentricities5, even when I am still figuring things out.
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I was attending ASE 2025 in November, and there was one particular slot where I did not have anything better to attend and walked into the “New Faculty Symposium” session. ↩
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I think it is hard to imagine this as an undergraduate student, but professors indeed are humans like everyone else! ↩
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Thankfully I stay in Bengaluru, where the weather is pleasant and the air quality is decent most of the year. I also have access to the facilities of my institute. ↩
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Ever since I started listening to Twenty One Pilots, I have found the sound of the ukulele very mesmerizing. It was my immediate choice when I decided to learn a musical instrument. I am learning on my own using online resources, and I have been enjoying it so far. ↩
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Special shoutout to my parents and close friends who have adapted to stay in touch with me when I have been going off the grid. ↩